This week in Chicago-land, we had a day in which the temperature went from nearly 60 and mild to nearly 30 and wet and windy. Though spring is officially 20 days away, you can FEEL it coming.
In my own life, my last IT contract job ended in December and while I’m not working yet, I can FEEL the next job coming nearer.
Here in the US, it’s election season. There is no final candidate – yet – on the Republican side, but you can feel the divisiveness of partisan politics heating up all the more.
And in the world at large, an old order is quickly passing away, and a newer age is imminent – but not here yet.
It’s a liminal time, to be sure – we all stand (or have stood) in the doorway of changes.
Before we approach that door, life is ‘business as usual’ – maybe ‘good’, maybe ‘bad’, but “same old, same old.”
Once we’ve crossed the threshold, it’s a flurry of new-ness. And, sometimes a sense of “how did I ever live prior to this?” (as in the birth of a new baby, getting a longed-for job, meeting Ms. or Mr. Right, etc.).
But it’s that part, standing in the doorway – or, just glimpsing that there IS a doorway, that is difficult to maneuver with grace.
I tune in regularly to “Radio Diane” – listen to the songs running through my head. They often give me clues. The lyric that has been on Radio Diane for the past week is from a very old Bob Dylan song, “When I Paint my Masterpiece”
“Sailing round the world
In a dirty gondola
Oh to be back in the land of Coca-Cola
…when I paint my masterpiece…”
When I tuned in more clearly to pay attention to the lyrics I laughed in recognition. Right now – all this uncertainty, all this liminality – feels like sailing round the round in a dirty gondola. The comforts of the known, of routine, of a sense of home – that feels like ‘back in the land of Coca Cola” – whether it’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’, it’s something I know.
But it’s that last bit that really sums it up – “when I paint my masterpiece.”
Because I’ve been restless. I make large to-do lists, get an amazing amount done AND loaf way more than one should – and yet, there’s a sense of “I should be doing something PRODUCTIVE” – something with meaning. The Diane equivalent of “painting my masterpiece.”
And yet I know that what I should be doing is preparing for transition. Yes, of course, looking for a job (I am doing that), but also using this gift of time to grow who I AM, not just to add to the list of things that I DO.
So that yoga, meditation and taking walks? That’s probably part of ‘painting my masterpiece’ as I prepare for the next right thing.
What about you? What do you do as you wait for change that you can see coming? How do you stay open to possibilities without drifting? I really want to know!
